My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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