Having a random hookup so left but love u
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
