Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
