I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Too much gin, very little bucket
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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