covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
