That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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