I smell stomach acid.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
