we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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