You work out of a Hotel?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
