this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
