Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
