Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
