everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
