Your mouth is God's brothel.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
