i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
