I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
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