this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
