omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
