She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
