the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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