OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
