I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
