I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
