Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize