its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my being single is dangerous.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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