So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
