Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
