You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i dont even know how to be here
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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