And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
