we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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