I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
