A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just gift wrapped bread.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize