It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
