SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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