singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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