Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize