You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
