so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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