My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
