Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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