but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
