fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
