try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have already put on my inside pants.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
