what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
