I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
