She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize