have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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