It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
