i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
