it wasn't lemon gatorade
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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