My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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