pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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