You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize