I think my fart just growled at me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
dude. I can hear the air.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
