He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
