I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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