i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
