I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
