i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
