Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
