let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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