She said her name was "party"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just pee around me
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
