We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize