You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Small penises have feelings too.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
