he told me I talked like a deaf person
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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