he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
