Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
